I'm back again by Fr James Casey C.Ss.R
Yes, I’m back, although I don’t know for how long. I left Bishop Eton and checked in to the Royal Liverpool Hospital at 7.30am on the 18th July 2016. A few days previously I had visited my brother in Glasgow to assure him that there was nothing to worry about and to avoid my never seeing him again if things did go wrong. I didn’t think they would, but when the patient is 82 years old and the surgery is of the car crash variety, there is room for doubt. But when I was told I had between six and nine months to live and surgery was proposed as my best chance of a cure, I was all for it. My mind was in “bring it on” mode.
I was wheeled into the operating theatre. I had been there before and so was pretty relaxed. It was a matter of breathing deeply and drifting off, for an indeterminate period of time, to a happy place, from thence to be awakened by the kindly voice of a Filipino nurse purring in my ear: “James how are you?”. At least that is how it happened in the past. This time it was different. I have no recollection of ever awakening from that general anaesthetic, or being coaxed out of sleep by some kindly nurse. No, I was locked , it seemed, in another world, in a very unhappy place, a dark place populated by drug addicts, gun runners, kidnappers—me being one of the kidnapped with no possibility of ever being ransomed. You see, I was being moved from one dank window- less place to another. There was no way I would ever be traced.
Mind you, I did resist, especially when I came to believe that my cancer was a fiction and that I and other elderly folk had been conned into hospital for experimental purposes. I fought back physically. I remember the struggle as they tied me down and I resisted with all my might. Months later when I was back here in Bishop Eton a parishioner told me her daughter, a nurse at the Royal, had been involved in one of my battles against the powers of evil, i.e. half-a-dozen nursing staff. Apparently I called the lady’s daughter a witch. Considering the state of mind I was in, or out of, at the time, she got off lightly!
Let me tell you that my operation for oesophageal cancer was carried out successfully. What set me back and laid me low was a sudden post-operational infection. While I hallucinated and raved, the doctors, nurses and staff of the Royal worked hard to keep me alive and did so with awesome good will. Such was my mental and physical state that several weeks passed before I was fully aware of where I was and what was going on around me. And it was then that I began to stand still . Days became interminable; I lay there and prayed that they would end, but they wouldn’t!
Nights were equally obstinate; there was no way they were going to give way to the days. I must confess that as I lay there, I languished — oh how I languished. You see, if there was no way the days were going to give way to the nights and vice versa, life would be at a standstill and I’d be lying there forever, a forlorn old creature hooked up to feeding tubes and electric wires, hoping there would be a powercut.
And talking of prayer, my advice to those preparing to go into hospital is: pray before you get there! This I learned years ago when I was seriously ill in Rome. I was suffering from a bacterium capable of killing me and I never said a prayer—I couldn’t. For the past sixty years as a religious and priest I’ve been more than happy to pray several times a day. I’ve studied prayer and lectured on prayer, but that has been no help when sickness was draining the life out of me. During my stay in the Royal I doubt that I ever managed to finish a Hail Mary. But, thank God, a phalanx of folk was doing the praying for me. What’s more, I was inundated with “holy” cards wishing me well and assuring me that, not one Mass, but novenas of Masse s were being offered for my return to good health. There were so many of those multiple Mass cards that the Masses promised are probably still being said — even now. If I suffer a relapse, I’m probably still covered
I was all of six weeks in the Royal. As time passed and I became a bit (but not much) brighter and more aware of life around me, I continued to languish. Who could blame me? I was, without warning, introduced to hospital food. Enough! I’ll only upset myself if I say more. I remembered the mouth-watering menus I was presented with when in hospital in Rome. I remembered, too, how we were asked to indicate whether we wanted red or white wine to accompany our meals. To tell the truth I wanted neither red wine nor white wine. There was only one thing I wanted and that was OUT . Like the big child I am, I wanted to go home to our beloved Bishop Eton—yes, to the building, but more importantly to the community that gives life and purpose to the building. Waiting for the day of deliverance/homecoming was anything but easy.
What eased the pain of waiting were the constant visits to the Royal of the different members of our community. Not a day passed without a visit from at least one member of the community. Often, they arrived in threes and fours, helping each other along, and in danger of being mistakenly admitted. This kindness continued during my immediate convalescence at Christopher Grange and has continued to this day here in Bishop Eton, where our home-grown paramedics still attend to my daily technomedical needs.
I’m back home again, and I’m ever so grateful for all that has been done for me. During my illness, I did live through some dark, even frightening, times, but despair was never an option. There were too many on my side. We were a power to be reckoned with. As we lived through this experience, grace, normally thought of as a theological truth, became a lived reality—became words of encouragement, a warm embrace, little acts of service, a willingness to wait and watch and listen and love. We were a grace-fuelled community and we were winners. As they say daftly on television these days: ‘Why don’t we all give ourselves a big round of applause?’
First Published in BE Alive June 2017
THE LESSONS OF HISTORY
Fr Tim Buckley CSsR (Parish Priest)
You know by now that I try to be attentive to those moments when we see God’s providential hand at work in our lives. I had another classic example of this during my recent week in the south of England. One afternoon I called at the Jesuit House in Bournemouth in the hope of seeing Fr Brendan Callaghan SJ, who had supervised my thesis in the 1990s. I had heard that he had been convalescing there after a recent illness. In the event I learnt that he had recovered well and is due to be moving soon to the University Catholic Chaplaincy in Manchester. However, I was made most welcome by Fr Norman Tanner SJ, who provided tea and cakes! We had a fruitful conversation and as I was leaving he kindly gave me a signed copy of his book: New Short History of the Catholic Church.
In days gone by the lives of the saints and the history of the Church were usually written in such a way that the best possible interpretation was put upon everything, presumably that we might be duly edified and inspired to try and follow suit. The problem with this kind of approach is that far from inspiring us to strive to be better, it can so easily be counter-productive and leave us feeling inadequate. I have shared with you before my joy that some new lives of St Alphonsus, our Redemptorist founder, portray him as real human being, struggling with himself and his relationships, in a way that bring him alive and make him much more lovable.
Fr Tanner has written in a similar vein about the whole history of the Church, telling the story as it was: the story of real people striving and often failing to live the gospel message and not a continuous series of triumphs of good over evil. I have often quoted Pope John XXIII at his opening address at the beginning of the Second Vatican Council. He knew he had his critics, among them the pessimists who considered the calling of the Council a huge mistake. This is what he said:
We feel we must disagree with those prophets of gloom, who are always forecasting disaster, as though the end of the world were at hand.
In the present order of things, Divine Providence is leading us to a new order of human relations… And everything, even human differences, leads to the greater good of the Church.
We hear from similar prophets of gloom today, challenging Pope Francis, who continues to challenge us to get our priorities right.
And this brings me back to the situation in our own place and time. The history of the Church is a history of God’s people in constant renewal. The beginning of a new academic year provides us with ample opportunity to continue that renewal in our two parishes and in our pastoral area. I have been talking a lot about the letter I am preparing with a view to developing the conversation about how best we can help one another, especially in our liturgies and the celebration of the sacraments. The letter as it stands is quite long and I am continuing to seek ways of making it as succinct as possible without it losing its desired impact. I hope to begin by sharing it with the parents of the children who are due to begin their preparation for First Holy Communion next year. Accordingly, I am consulting with the catechists and the schools about postponing the beginning of the programme so that I can start this conversation in earnest during the autumn. Now that we do not have to cover the preparation for Confirmation as well, I think it may serve us well to begin the programme proper nearer the end of the year. This will give us ample opportunity to test the letter and begin the conversation with key groups in both parishes.
By way of a couple of addenda: may I strongly recommend Fr Tanner’s book? It is published by Bloomsbury and retails at £12.99. And finally I commend to your prayers the sister of Fr Brendan Callaghan, Kath Gibson (a member of St Mary’s parish), who is seriously ill at present, and indeed all the parishioners in both our parishes who are struggling with health or other problems.
- Redemptorists Vocations Weekend 10th-12th Nov 2017
- Songs from the shows 17.11.17
- Knights of St Columba Charity Social 11.11.17
- What on at Irenaeus Sept 2017 onwards
- Scripture Weekends Sept & Nov 2017
- Jubilee Event: Mozart’s Requiem 15.11.17
- Redemptorists Youth Ministry Autumn 2017
- Certificate in Pastoral Ministry
- Diploma in Pastoral ministry
- Women's Group News - Upcoming Events
- Festive Floristry Talk at the Cathedral 18.11.17
- Princess Diana Condolence Book to go on Public Display
- Organ Recital Bishop Eton 26th August 2017
- Creation time - A course based on Laudate Si
- Bereavement Team - Training Courses 2017
- Embrace 2017 25.11.2017
- Scripture weekends September 2017
- St Mary's Kinnoull 2018
- Fatima Pilgrimage - 7th to 10th Dec 2017
- Lourdes Pilgrimage 6th-9th Dec 2017
- Life Choices 2017
- Lecture Series on the Reformation
- Cathedral Jubilee Celebrations